Deal or No Deal ?

Am i talking of the game show....nope....

I am talking about striking a deal with your toddler...thats one tough deal to make...hmmm

Well, one would think why i chose writing about dealing with a toddler, when i am no expert in the field. The truth of the matter is 'necessity is the mother of invention' and I have constantly been innovating to keep my toddler son occupied with something to do when i have something else to do :)

As a mother, I have seen a pattern kids follow. They want to sleep when you eat, they want to play when you are tired and sleepy, they want to poop when you have just got them ready for bed and they want to have juice when it is time for a meal. The list is endless and the possibility of such things happening on a regular basis is quite common. However, our minds get worked up so soon, that before we realise it, there is a tantrum, a mess to clean,a time out and what not!! We then go through the whole cycle of pacifying, cajoling, cuddling and cooling off.

A toddler is a bundle of energy, ever ready to explore the world around and understand the laws of nature.. Yes..the beauty of 'cause and effect' becomes the key motivator for them to see the wonders of their actions. They may drop a spoon from their high chair, just to enjoy watching you pick it up over and over again. They may want to drink juice from a cup so as to slurp and make that funny noise! They may want to to make their food all squishy, just to get a feel of its texture. Whatever their interest be, it gets us adults ticking off and we are just ready to throw a tantrum ourselves.

There is no quick fix rule to avoid or eliminate such situations. Always think of it as a learning process. Yes, it may be messy and tiring, but in the end you toddler is learning. Engage your toddler's mind by reading books together, solving puzzles, making art and craft projects and playing around the house.

You need to ensure that you are able to satisfy your toddler's urge to learn and explore, by providing the right tools and environment. Now a days i see my son playing with a set of pots and pans and yesterday i was surprised to see that he had covered the pan with a lid with one hand and holding a spatula in the other. I asked him what he was cooking, and he said something in his mambo jumbo....language. i opened the pot, and lo behold, he was busy cooking his crayons...he was stirring it and serving it like a true chef :)

Patience is what we all need, when we deal with toddlers. Not just a little, but tons of it. They can push you till you reach your limits, so practice being patient and always try to take a deep breath before you let out any steam. To be consistent with your responses and be loving and supporting are the best tools to help your toddler go through this learning phase.

Childproof the house as far as you can, to avoid getting into such situations. Keep minimal furniture , so your child has lots of space to run around and play. A way to expend all their energy. Let your toddler help you in little tasks, so he or she feels included in the your activities.

Remember there is no winning or losing in this game of deal or no deal. It is about teaching your child to love, live and learn from his or her environment!

Art of Connecting!

Connecting with people is an art. Many people don't realise the importance or the need to stay connected. Being connected is a two way lane, you have the option to ask for help, assistance, guidance, coaching or anything under the sun to the other person and it works vice versa. Imagine that each of us is a computer and we are all part of a huge network. When you are part of a huge network, there is information flow, exchange of ideas, sharing of views and so much more activity than when you are a stand alone machine.

How do you establish connections? To put it simply "just follow up". More often than not it is the attitude of not following up, that causes a connection to fail. We meet a lot of people in our lives, at parties, conferences, in the park, in the elevator and so on. Very soon we get talking with the people with whom we have common interests. It could be that you both like to talk about politics, or you like to play tennis, or you love talking about your kids, or about social service. The list is endless.

The first step to finding a connection is to establish "common ground". Identify people with whom you identify yourself, your interest or your vision. Then the next step would be to communicate and understand the person even better. Remember if you want people to talk, learn to first be a good listener. More often than not, we lose a connection because we don't listen and just want to be heard. Once you have exchanged basic introductions, talk about common interests and find cues to see where you establish a link.

The party is over and so is the meeting in the park, do you just walk away like aliens ....Well, that's what happens most of the times. We are more interested in getting back to our lives and our homes and thinking of all the bills we have to pay and the grocery that we need to buy.

STOP

Remember there is no second chance. Go ahead and exchange your contact details.If you are unsure about the authenticity of the person, give a mail id instead of any other contact information. That way you buy time to see if you want to stay connected with the person or not. The job is now done.

NOT YET

Remember the art of staying connected, involves the magic act of following up. That doesn't mean that you have to throw a party, buy them a gift or keep calling them. It depends on how you want to share your interest with them. Maybe join a tennis club together, or meet up with the kids at the library, or just hang out together to know them better. And it doesn't even mean regularly, every week or every day. Even a Season's greeting card is enough to stay connected. So, it all depends on your style and modus operandi behind the connection.

So, get your eyes and ears open and enjoy building wonderful connections and make life interesting and meaningful. The world is your play ground and it is always lovely when you have connections all over the world.

Stay connected!