Well..these sure are testing times...for the economy, for the unemployed, for the people in Haiti, for the people in Telangana, for Tiger Woods...for probably everyone and anyone. And not to mention that i have heard President Obama talk about 'testing times' like a zillion times.
I think we all are constantly being tested in life. We get tested on intellectual skills, on physical ability,on emotional skills and not to mention on even driving skills :)
The pressure for us to perform is very high and we are overburdened by the expectation levels set, by not just our company or boss, but by our kith and kin, our children and the community we live in. It is like you have to constantly prove yourself in something to feel accepted and appreciated.You need to perform as a teacher, a parent, a son or daughter, a boss, an employee, a good citizen, and so on. So, is that good or is it bad?
Well, it is definitely good, because as a human race we are born with the basic instinct to survive, to perform and to excel in this journey of life. Some may call it the rat race and also write about how you could escape it. Well, i believe that we should embrace it rather than escape from it. Coz, it gives meaning, adds dimensions and improves the quality of life. These tests are there to remind us of who we are and what we could do to make a difference.
As Richard Bach says in his book 'Jonathan Livingston Seagull', “Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't.”
All the best!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Knock knock...whose there?
Over the years, I have interacted with umpteen number of people and have trained associates on communication and soft skills. One of the most important aspects that we all tend to miss out on is the Art of Listening. How i wish these aspects were inculcated at an earlier stage when one is in high school or college.. To be able to listen and respond appropriately is truly an art. One needs to have an open mind and a lot of patience to be a good listener.
On being a good listener,you are not only able to be more involved in the conversation, but also get a better understanding of what is being said. So how do you ensure that you become a good listener...I once read this piece from a book called 'Secrets of face to face commmunication'by Brender and Tracz and they said..all you need to do to be a good listener is to...listen with HEART..
Very simply put across..It meant...
H - Hush - Keep quiet when someone is talking.
E - Empathize - Understand and feel the persons emotion
A - Ask questions - Clarify what you have heard
R - Reflect - Ponder on what is being said and respond appropriately
T - Tone - Finally mind the tone in which you talk
Thats all it takes to be a good listener...So..the next time you are in a conversation, Listen more and talk less.....Guess that was why we were born with two ears and one mouth!
Happy Listening...!
On being a good listener,you are not only able to be more involved in the conversation, but also get a better understanding of what is being said. So how do you ensure that you become a good listener...I once read this piece from a book called 'Secrets of face to face commmunication'by Brender and Tracz and they said..all you need to do to be a good listener is to...listen with HEART..
Very simply put across..It meant...
H - Hush - Keep quiet when someone is talking.
E - Empathize - Understand and feel the persons emotion
A - Ask questions - Clarify what you have heard
R - Reflect - Ponder on what is being said and respond appropriately
T - Tone - Finally mind the tone in which you talk
Thats all it takes to be a good listener...So..the next time you are in a conversation, Listen more and talk less.....Guess that was why we were born with two ears and one mouth!
Happy Listening...!
Eating the right way...
Hmm..if you thought that i was about to give advice on what to eat or what not to or how to stay healthy this year...you've got it all wrong..
To understand the fine art of business entertaining and dining, I was once a part of an etiquette training program conducted by world renowned etiquette specialist, Syndi Seid. In fact the feeling of being part of this program was even more hightened, when I got to know that she had trained Sushmita Sen for Miss Universe. Who better to learn it from, than the guru of etiquette, who has been training umpteen number of models and diplomats.
To learn to eat Indian food in the British and Continental style was quite entertaining,with participants being tied down to eating Indian food with forks and knives...yes....no spoons..Coz eating with a spoon is considered juvenile. So, the next time you pick up that spoon...think twice...It was quite an ardent task to maneuver through all that food..and a lot of fun too.
Then the fine art of table setting and what needs to go where. You have so many types and sizes of forks, knives and spoons laid out. Always work from the outer most to the inner most cutlery in a formal table setting.Use the largest cutlery for your main course and the smaller ones for dessert and starters.
The key to knowing what to hold with which hand was the next lesson. Understanding that 'b', your bread is dealt with in your left hand and 'd' your drink in the right was a must. A yogic way of remembering this for me would be to make a chinn mudra in both hands. Your left hand forms a 'b' and right one a 'd'. And presto you know how to deal with your bread and drink. hmmm..no mixing your bs and ds..and placing them here and there on the table.
Small talk over a meal can be quite easy or very tough. You need to find suitable topics, establish a connection and build a conversation.Dont just focus on your food.Look around the table and get some small talk rolling....
Well..well am glad i dont have to follow these rules at home...but its always good to know right :)
Dine in style!
To understand the fine art of business entertaining and dining, I was once a part of an etiquette training program conducted by world renowned etiquette specialist, Syndi Seid. In fact the feeling of being part of this program was even more hightened, when I got to know that she had trained Sushmita Sen for Miss Universe. Who better to learn it from, than the guru of etiquette, who has been training umpteen number of models and diplomats.
To learn to eat Indian food in the British and Continental style was quite entertaining,with participants being tied down to eating Indian food with forks and knives...yes....no spoons..Coz eating with a spoon is considered juvenile. So, the next time you pick up that spoon...think twice...It was quite an ardent task to maneuver through all that food..and a lot of fun too.
Then the fine art of table setting and what needs to go where. You have so many types and sizes of forks, knives and spoons laid out. Always work from the outer most to the inner most cutlery in a formal table setting.Use the largest cutlery for your main course and the smaller ones for dessert and starters.
The key to knowing what to hold with which hand was the next lesson. Understanding that 'b', your bread is dealt with in your left hand and 'd' your drink in the right was a must. A yogic way of remembering this for me would be to make a chinn mudra in both hands. Your left hand forms a 'b' and right one a 'd'. And presto you know how to deal with your bread and drink. hmmm..no mixing your bs and ds..and placing them here and there on the table.
Small talk over a meal can be quite easy or very tough. You need to find suitable topics, establish a connection and build a conversation.Dont just focus on your food.Look around the table and get some small talk rolling....
Well..well am glad i dont have to follow these rules at home...but its always good to know right :)
Dine in style!
Getting organized
For every minute spent in organizing, an hour is earned they say. I am not sure if we really earn that much time, but i sure would like to believe that 'What takes an hour to find, can be got in a minute by proper organization'.
I sure am a stickler for having things organized. It could be as simple a thing as organizing your car or your work table or your kitchen pantry or your closet. The list is endless, but when we start organizing things, in all these little zones in our life, our days definitely get easier and we save tons of time searching for things.
I know how crazy times can get, when one is busy searching for a missing sock or car keys or an important file....searching for a tshirt in the closet, trying to locate tomatoes in the fridge, finding a pain reliever when there is a headache...the list goes on.
Organizing the little spaces in your life, is not easy. Even if you do take the time to organize your home one weekend. It doesn't end there. It needs continuous maintenance to keep it that way always. So Organizing takes effort and time, but the fruits sure are sweet. You get more time on your hands to do other things.
So, let me just share with you few organizing tips that have worked for me.
- Deal with paperwork asap, don't postpone.They tend to pile pretty soon. So when you get that mail, deal with it then and there. Junk it, File it or put it in an action folder for you to revisit, not on the dining table and the sofa.
- Keep clothes organized according to season and type(formal/casual).Any dress that is not used for a year, will usually be never used.Junk it or donate it. Allocate spaces for accessories like ties, scarves, socks, gloves, jackets etc
- In the kitchen pantry, organize your spices, cereals, munchies etc according to your need. Label a few of them if needed..like salt,tea, coffee, sugar etc. Separate daily cookware from party ware.
- Organize your work table, sorting paper and stationary. Make spaces for paper, stationary, office supplies, laptops etc.
- Book cases can be organized as fiction, non fiction, magazines and library books.
Well these are just a few pointers. When you start organizing, clearing the clutter yourself and seeing how much easier life gets, you will want to make it second nature.
If you have a chance, read 'Organizing from the inside out' by Julie Morgenstern. The book very simply explains on how you could organize the spaces in your life. It gives a clear cut route for you to classify, label and even trash all the clutter that you have been accumulating over time.
Organizing is a great tool that we all tend to avoid or procastinate. Try it and see the difference in the quality of life you could lead.
Get Organized!
I sure am a stickler for having things organized. It could be as simple a thing as organizing your car or your work table or your kitchen pantry or your closet. The list is endless, but when we start organizing things, in all these little zones in our life, our days definitely get easier and we save tons of time searching for things.
I know how crazy times can get, when one is busy searching for a missing sock or car keys or an important file....searching for a tshirt in the closet, trying to locate tomatoes in the fridge, finding a pain reliever when there is a headache...the list goes on.
Organizing the little spaces in your life, is not easy. Even if you do take the time to organize your home one weekend. It doesn't end there. It needs continuous maintenance to keep it that way always. So Organizing takes effort and time, but the fruits sure are sweet. You get more time on your hands to do other things.
So, let me just share with you few organizing tips that have worked for me.
- Deal with paperwork asap, don't postpone.They tend to pile pretty soon. So when you get that mail, deal with it then and there. Junk it, File it or put it in an action folder for you to revisit, not on the dining table and the sofa.
- Keep clothes organized according to season and type(formal/casual).Any dress that is not used for a year, will usually be never used.Junk it or donate it. Allocate spaces for accessories like ties, scarves, socks, gloves, jackets etc
- In the kitchen pantry, organize your spices, cereals, munchies etc according to your need. Label a few of them if needed..like salt,tea, coffee, sugar etc. Separate daily cookware from party ware.
- Organize your work table, sorting paper and stationary. Make spaces for paper, stationary, office supplies, laptops etc.
- Book cases can be organized as fiction, non fiction, magazines and library books.
Well these are just a few pointers. When you start organizing, clearing the clutter yourself and seeing how much easier life gets, you will want to make it second nature.
If you have a chance, read 'Organizing from the inside out' by Julie Morgenstern. The book very simply explains on how you could organize the spaces in your life. It gives a clear cut route for you to classify, label and even trash all the clutter that you have been accumulating over time.
Organizing is a great tool that we all tend to avoid or procastinate. Try it and see the difference in the quality of life you could lead.
Get Organized!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Deal or No Deal ?
Am i talking of the game show....nope....
I am talking about striking a deal with your toddler...thats one tough deal to make...hmmm
Well, one would think why i chose writing about dealing with a toddler, when i am no expert in the field. The truth of the matter is 'necessity is the mother of invention' and I have constantly been innovating to keep my toddler son occupied with something to do when i have something else to do :)
As a mother, I have seen a pattern kids follow. They want to sleep when you eat, they want to play when you are tired and sleepy, they want to poop when you have just got them ready for bed and they want to have juice when it is time for a meal. The list is endless and the possibility of such things happening on a regular basis is quite common. However, our minds get worked up so soon, that before we realise it, there is a tantrum, a mess to clean,a time out and what not!! We then go through the whole cycle of pacifying, cajoling, cuddling and cooling off.
A toddler is a bundle of energy, ever ready to explore the world around and understand the laws of nature.. Yes..the beauty of 'cause and effect' becomes the key motivator for them to see the wonders of their actions. They may drop a spoon from their high chair, just to enjoy watching you pick it up over and over again. They may want to drink juice from a cup so as to slurp and make that funny noise! They may want to to make their food all squishy, just to get a feel of its texture. Whatever their interest be, it gets us adults ticking off and we are just ready to throw a tantrum ourselves.
There is no quick fix rule to avoid or eliminate such situations. Always think of it as a learning process. Yes, it may be messy and tiring, but in the end you toddler is learning. Engage your toddler's mind by reading books together, solving puzzles, making art and craft projects and playing around the house.
You need to ensure that you are able to satisfy your toddler's urge to learn and explore, by providing the right tools and environment. Now a days i see my son playing with a set of pots and pans and yesterday i was surprised to see that he had covered the pan with a lid with one hand and holding a spatula in the other. I asked him what he was cooking, and he said something in his mambo jumbo....language. i opened the pot, and lo behold, he was busy cooking his crayons...he was stirring it and serving it like a true chef :)
Patience is what we all need, when we deal with toddlers. Not just a little, but tons of it. They can push you till you reach your limits, so practice being patient and always try to take a deep breath before you let out any steam. To be consistent with your responses and be loving and supporting are the best tools to help your toddler go through this learning phase.
Childproof the house as far as you can, to avoid getting into such situations. Keep minimal furniture , so your child has lots of space to run around and play. A way to expend all their energy. Let your toddler help you in little tasks, so he or she feels included in the your activities.
Remember there is no winning or losing in this game of deal or no deal. It is about teaching your child to love, live and learn from his or her environment!
Monday, March 2, 2009
Art of Connecting!
Connecting with people is an art. Many people don't realise the importance or the need to stay connected. Being connected is a two way lane, you have the option to ask for help, assistance, guidance, coaching or anything under the sun to the other person and it works vice versa. Imagine that each of us is a computer and we are all part of a huge network. When you are part of a huge network, there is information flow, exchange of ideas, sharing of views and so much more activity than when you are a stand alone machine.
How do you establish connections? To put it simply "just follow up". More often than not it is the attitude of not following up, that causes a connection to fail. We meet a lot of people in our lives, at parties, conferences, in the park, in the elevator and so on. Very soon we get talking with the people with whom we have common interests. It could be that you both like to talk about politics, or you like to play tennis, or you love talking about your kids, or about social service. The list is endless.
The first step to finding a connection is to establish "common ground". Identify people with whom you identify yourself, your interest or your vision. Then the next step would be to communicate and understand the person even better. Remember if you want people to talk, learn to first be a good listener. More often than not, we lose a connection because we don't listen and just want to be heard. Once you have exchanged basic introductions, talk about common interests and find cues to see where you establish a link.
The party is over and so is the meeting in the park, do you just walk away like aliens ....Well, that's what happens most of the times. We are more interested in getting back to our lives and our homes and thinking of all the bills we have to pay and the grocery that we need to buy.
STOP
Remember there is no second chance. Go ahead and exchange your contact details.If you are unsure about the authenticity of the person, give a mail id instead of any other contact information. That way you buy time to see if you want to stay connected with the person or not. The job is now done.
NOT YET
Remember the art of staying connected, involves the magic act of following up. That doesn't mean that you have to throw a party, buy them a gift or keep calling them. It depends on how you want to share your interest with them. Maybe join a tennis club together, or meet up with the kids at the library, or just hang out together to know them better. And it doesn't even mean regularly, every week or every day. Even a Season's greeting card is enough to stay connected. So, it all depends on your style and modus operandi behind the connection.
So, get your eyes and ears open and enjoy building wonderful connections and make life interesting and meaningful. The world is your play ground and it is always lovely when you have connections all over the world.
Stay connected!
How do you establish connections? To put it simply "just follow up". More often than not it is the attitude of not following up, that causes a connection to fail. We meet a lot of people in our lives, at parties, conferences, in the park, in the elevator and so on. Very soon we get talking with the people with whom we have common interests. It could be that you both like to talk about politics, or you like to play tennis, or you love talking about your kids, or about social service. The list is endless.
The first step to finding a connection is to establish "common ground". Identify people with whom you identify yourself, your interest or your vision. Then the next step would be to communicate and understand the person even better. Remember if you want people to talk, learn to first be a good listener. More often than not, we lose a connection because we don't listen and just want to be heard. Once you have exchanged basic introductions, talk about common interests and find cues to see where you establish a link.
The party is over and so is the meeting in the park, do you just walk away like aliens ....Well, that's what happens most of the times. We are more interested in getting back to our lives and our homes and thinking of all the bills we have to pay and the grocery that we need to buy.
STOP
Remember there is no second chance. Go ahead and exchange your contact details.If you are unsure about the authenticity of the person, give a mail id instead of any other contact information. That way you buy time to see if you want to stay connected with the person or not. The job is now done.
NOT YET
Remember the art of staying connected, involves the magic act of following up. That doesn't mean that you have to throw a party, buy them a gift or keep calling them. It depends on how you want to share your interest with them. Maybe join a tennis club together, or meet up with the kids at the library, or just hang out together to know them better. And it doesn't even mean regularly, every week or every day. Even a Season's greeting card is enough to stay connected. So, it all depends on your style and modus operandi behind the connection.
So, get your eyes and ears open and enjoy building wonderful connections and make life interesting and meaningful. The world is your play ground and it is always lovely when you have connections all over the world.
Stay connected!
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